I’m blessed to have a wonderful goddaughter, her name is Angelica and she’s the sweetest, brightest well to do little person I have ever met. I try to tell her often how amazing she is and sometimes I wonder if she really believes me.
I’m reminded in my relationship with her of my own father. A dreamer of a man who pursued even bigger dreams in his profession as an accomplished and published biochemist. He told me from before I can remember that the world is my oyster. That anything I could dream of I could make a reality. He instilled in me the sense of the epicness of our existence; how monumental life is in and of itself. My mother a devoted and accomplished homemaker only nourished this idea in me with constant praise and encouragement.
However as life went on and as I grew up in an ever demanding society I found myself struggling to be able to believe in myself the way my parents always had. Self-esteem became something I had heard of but never really experienced. I soon became aware that the voice in my head reflected anything but what my parents had always told me; or what I constantly say to my goddaughter. I soon began to think of my inner self as this small defenseless child; how would that child feel day to day if she heard all the things I always told myself? She’d probably be insane!
Why do some of us feel the urge to constantly berate and belittle our inner person? Then wonder why we are depressed, anxious, stressed, unhappy and only able to find solace in a bottle of booze or a prescription. I believe we become so conditioned to this negative self-talk that we are no longer mindful of just how we speak to ourselves and we suffer day in and out from it.
To become more mindful of this negative self-talk I think of this inner self I have as a little child. Who needs protecting, guiding, encouraging and lots of praise. I allow myself my happy time; whatever that may be. I spend more time outside in earths splendor than inside in front of the TV or computer. I take my shoes off and let my toes crunch the earth beneath them. I lay in the grass and gaze up at the clouds and listen to the sounds of earth moving around me; I feel earths energy coursing through my aura, my inner self. I become aware of that very moment and I tell myself just how amazing existence is.
We as a society are so far disconnected from our enviroment it’s mind boggling. I believe being connected with earth is being connected with ourselves; what makes us truly human. Be mindful of yourself and the world around you. Take some time to feel the goodness around you. Plant flowers and watch them grow- not just the literal flowers in the garden but the figurative ones within yourself and spread the good you instill within yourself to those around you.
My dad always says “Where did we come from? Nowhere. Where are we going? Nowhere. Now take that word, nowhere and turn it into ‘Now we’re here’ because we came from nowhere and we are all going nowhere- so right now, we’re here and that’s all we ever have.”